


Expecting the Unexpected

by skargasm



Series: Stories A - Z [5]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fanart, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mpreg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:53:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28163493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skargasm/pseuds/skargasm
Summary: Stiles wakes in the night to something completely unexpected!
Relationships: Peter Hale/Stiles Stilinski
Series: Stories A - Z [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2060769
Comments: 18
Kudos: 175
Collections: Ficlets: Stories from 100 to 1000 words





	Expecting the Unexpected

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Afrieal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Afrieal/gifts), [notreallyme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notreallyme/gifts), [evealeta](https://archiveofourown.org/users/evealeta/gifts).



> It's about 3.30 am but I've been thinking about the prompt I received from Afrieal and how I was going to write it when this popped into my head!

[ ](https://imgur.com/8vlG1md)

“No,” Stiles said, giving Deaton a disbelieving glare.

“Now sweetheart – “

“You can shut up!”

“Is that any way to be speaking to the man who’s well prepared to keep you in pickles and ice cream, or whatever else your little heart desires?” Peter replied.

“I **will** hit you!”

“And I would let you – my parents taught me **never** to hit a pregnant – person,” Peter said, nevertheless taking a step back.

“Can I punch him?” Stiles asked, giving Deaton a beseeching look.

“Well, it won’t cause any harm to the baby so – “

“How the hell do we know that it’s a baby anyway? Apart from the fact that I am very much a male – ask _him_ , he’ll attest to my dick being up his ass only yesterday – “

“I can only assume that the Trickster that you convinced to leave town decided to leave you with a parting gift,” Deaton replied, stepping away from Peter in case Stiles decided to follow through on his threat. “And as you saw quite clearly on the ultrasound, it is very much a baby. And growing well – you are almost at full term,” he continued.

“Peter!” Stiles’ voice rose, his face growing alarmingly pale. Fortunately, Peter seemed to understand and grabbed a chair, pushing him gently down onto it so that he could put his head between his legs (or try to) and breathe deeply. 

“Would you like to know the sex?” Deaton asked and Stiles was pretty sure he was seeing stars.

“Really? That would be marvellous!” Peter replied, screaming when Stiles grabbed him by the balls and yanked Peter down until they came face to face. 

“I swear by all that is holy that if you don’t lose the sheer amount of happiness you are exuding at the moment, I may pull your dick off and feed it to you through your own ass!” he threatened, giving an extra yank for emphasis.

“Perhaps another time,” Peter croaked towards Deaton, gently disengaging Stiles’ fingers one by one.

“What’s the emergency?” Scott’s voice came from the foyer and Stiles breathed a sigh of relief. At last, someone who would take this seriously and help him handle the situation! From the time he had woken up in the middle of the night, desperate to pee and sleepily discovered that he couldn’t reach his dick because of the humongous bump that had mysteriously appeared, he had felt like he was in the middle of an episode of the Twilight Zone. 

Peter had come running at the sound of his screams but had remained infuriatingly calm throughout contacting Deaton, the drive to the surgery and the subsequent ultrasound. If Stiles didn’t know better – and he _refused_ to consider that he didn’t – he would think Peter was _pleased_!

Getting to his feet carefully – his center of gravity was completely off and he was feeling more than a little light-headed – he turned to his best friend in the whole wide world as he walked into the room.

“Thank God! Scotty – you have to help me – “

“Jumping Jiminy Christ – what the fuck is that?” Inexplicably hurt by the revulsion on Scott’s face and his tone of voice, Stiles automatically cradled his bump protectively.

“It’s a pregnancy bump, you ignorant ass-hat!” Peter snapped, growling at Scott as he stepped forward and put his arm around Stiles comfortingly.

“Yeah but – Stiles is a dude – dude? How could you let _Peter_ knock you up?!” Scott asked, his voice telegraphing his disgust.

“That’s all you have to say? How could I let Peter knock me up?” Stiles could feel himself edging closer and closer to hysteria.

“Well – I mean, I know your spark makes you special and all that but – I mean, ew!” Peter moved faster than Stiles could, throwing a solid punch that made a satisfyingly loud thwacking noise as it hit Scott’s jaw, and Stiles watched as his friend landed on the floor.

“How dare you look upon the evidence of our love and say ‘ew’!” Peter exclaimed, shaking his hand briskly. Scott sat holding his jaw, a large swelling already developing along the crooked edge as he looked up at Peter.

“But it’s Stiles – he looks kinda gross!” Scott said, putting up a warding hand as Peter took a menacing step forward. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean _you_ look gross! I mean, you’re all glowy and shit but – is this normal?” He turned to Deaton, looking like a confused Labrador. 

“No of course it isn’t normal, you imbecile!” Stiles shouted, his patience at an end. “We think it was the trickster!”

“Oh! Oh right! Phew – I thought it might be permanent!” Scott said, climbing to his feet.

“Well, there’s nothing to say that it _isn’t_ permanent,” Deaton stated calmly. “Or as permanent as any pregnancy is. I’d say give it five more weeks and the pregnancy will be gone,” he continued.

“Five weeks?!” Stiles said faintly, panic once more setting in as he clutched Peter’s hand. He was even ready to forgive him for uttering the words ‘evidence of our love’ for his unwavering ability to tell when Stiles needed support. And right now, he needed **all** the support he could get.

“There! Problem solved!” Scott said with satisfaction.

“He means I should have given birth by then, not that the whole thing is just gonna – disappear!” Stiles shouted, unable to comprehend just how stupid Scott was being. And he had thought that having his friend here would _help_!

“How are you going to give birth? Oh my God, Stiles, are you gonna have to push it out of your ass?” This time, Stiles got there before Peter.

* * *

**fin**

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> I don't even know, peeps - this one came out of left field! I hope you enjoyed this little bit of nothing!
> 
> Stay safe, stay well and stay kind  
> Skargasm  
> x
> 
> * * *


End file.
